There you have it folks –we have claimed the must coveted prize, we have grasped the brass ring, WE have been dubbed “The worst parents EVER.”
As we pondered how we came to achieve this unique privilege, we began to consider all that led to this pinnacle of parenting success. The following is our compiled list–a “how to” guide if you will– so that YOU TOO can become the “worst parent EVER.”
1. We say “No” A LOT. And I do mean a lot, a lot. “Can I have some candy?” “No!” “Can we buy this toy?” “No!” “Can we watch another movie?” “No!” “More video game time?” “No!” “Can I? Can I? Can I?” “No! No! No!” I just recently watched the Lego Batman movie (again) (so awesome BTW) and this little scene from the movie sums up any given day in our household.
2. We set rules. Whether it’s the amount of screen time they are allowed or the chores that they are responsible for doing–we set rules AND we expect them to follow the rules we set (gasp!) I can’t tell you how much I enjoy the eye rolling and growls (and sometimes screams) when screen time is up or it’s time to do chores. It’s like their little way of saying “I love you Momma, I’m so glad you are protecting my brain from turning to mush and thank you for teaching me how to take care of our home so I don’t end up on an episode of “Hoarders” when I grow up.”
3. We have consequences for breaking the rules. We try our best to make sure the rules are known and the consequences for breaking those rules are clear. Inevitably my little humans sometimes choose to go their own way. We’ve found that nothing produces steam out of their ears and red faced tantrums more than when they realize that they knew what they were doing is wrong and still chose to do it anyway –and thereby have to endure a consequence. Following through with the consequences will for sure you put you on the fast track to “worst parent EVER” status.
4. We require good manners. If they want something they must ask for it nicely–saying, “please” and “thank you.” Otherwise the request is ignored until they remember. (I sometimes find myself correcting perfect strangers, “Say please!”)
5. We demand respect. That means no sassy talk, no disrespectful language, and no ignoring. We encourage expressing feelings, but it has to be done with respect. This is by far the toughest one for my boys. They get so angry and upset and learning to speak their mind without losing it– is so hard sometimes (okay a lot of times for me too).
This little list will get you well on your way to becoming the “worst parent EVER.” Just follow these tips and watch it happen before your eyes. You’ll know you’re getting close to this coveted title when you see arms crossed, hear lots of heavy sighs and foot stomping as they exit the room. A door slam and a mumbling of the words are just around the corner.
In all seriousness, Super Rockstar and I have really struggled with our boys’ behavior and our reaction to it in the past couple years. In desperation, I stumbled across a great webinar from Positive Parenting Solutions.
https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/amember/aff/go/jennifer_glenn
I learned a TON of great parenting tips from Amy McCready–she has a “tool box”, if you will, for parenting so that you can teach your kids to respond without all of the drama. A lot of the “how to’s” I mentioned in this post are inspired from things I learned in her free webinar. At the end of the webinar is an offer to join her parenting course. I haven’t taken it yet, but I plan to in the very near future. Check it out here and let me know what you think.
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